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can i live without Harvey?

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He is my boyfriend for four years 10 days 4 hours (hehe). he's away in canada for almost 2 years now, so we've been together for 2 years.
He doesnt smoke ( i do) doesnt drink (i do) saves money (i dont) graduated from college (i didnt) and a very responsible person (im not)
Yeah, we're almost opposites..the only things we have in common is star wars, love for gadgets and games, sex(haha) and religious views (although he is still a practicing catholic)
I dont know what he saw in me, but i know what i saw in him.. i see my future clearly now - all because of him..You see im a very disorganized unstable person and i dont even know what i want from my life.
He has plans for everything, for me and for our future kids.
I dont even know where i will get my money for my rent and bills.
Whats funny though is i really love him although he means security to me..or is it the other way around? i feel secured thats why i love him?
If we part ways im not of a big loss to him, but i will feel like my future's gone..
The answer is, NO. he's my life..

(do i sound selfish and dependent? maybe i am)