yes i am. ready to move on.
it's been 3 months since I found out the guy I thought was perfect isn't. he is a lying cheating a$$hole and took the cowardly way out of our almost 7 year long relationship.
yes, that pig on the right is the guy i'm talking about.
tomorrow, June 5th, would have been our 7th year as a couple.
we started out in college, me in UP and he in UST. mondays were the only days we usually could meet. we had so much in common, but knew each other so little. it all started out as just for fun, since we were both so young. we used to do too many things together. we used to like similar things. we went to places together.
when i think back all those years
we spent together, yes i was happy for a time. he and i get along really well, and we have fun wh
en we're together, with friends or even when we're talking on the phone.
i know i was really patient with him, and so was he to me. he doesn't smoke, i do, and he tolerated it cuz he "understands
" me. he leaves me hanging or waiting all the time, but i never lose my patience, cuz i understand him.
since he moved away, we did start drifting apart. at first it was working, we talk on the phone like he's just in marikina, chat when we're online or sometimes send
letters to each other.
(see, i don't even know if he's pretending to miss
me or he really does in this picture)
i felt the distance most especially when he moved to edmonton and told me he was moving farther away. it's like he is putting too much distance between us instead of bridging the gap to make it closer.
i thought we were different. i though the long distance wouldn't be a hindrance in our relationship. i thought he loved me. i thought he was as strong as he taught me to be. well i thought wrong.
i did think of breaking up with him long before i discovered his other girlfriend. most of my friends actually told me i should, but i was just so stubborn to admit the relationship wasn't working. i thought we could work things out. when he came home last year, all he did was
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be mad at the smallest things. he changed. he used to be so happy go lucky and carefree like me, but when he visited, he was irritable, sensitive, homophobic and c
ursed at every opportunity he could. still, i tried to understand him.
(this was his pasalubong last year when he went home)
well i don't want to dwell anymore on those negative thoughts. i'm dumping these pics on my blog so i can erase them from my harddrive.
(this was our last happy couple picture) >>
what i want to do right now is celebrate, rejoice and be happy. :)
i am free. i don't have to pretend to care about his welfare. i don't have to think about what he would think every time i am enjoying myself. i don't have to worry myself to death about how he is faring over there in canada. i don't have to check my phone every minute when he tells me he was going to call but haven't. i don't have to think way far into the future and wonder what would my life be in a cold heartless place where he is now. i don't have to be sad even when i'm not just to make myself believe i am missing him and want him next to me. i don't have to give excuses for him to other people.
i just don't have to force myself to love miss and worry about him.
and i'm so so so GLAD it's over.
now, after 3 months, my grieving period is officially over.
yes i do miss what i thought he was, but i don't miss him as my howe anymore.
i still miss talking to him about inane things, but hey i can do that with my friends too.
i miss having a boyfriend, but not especially harvey as that boyfriend. he may have been any other guy and i would still miss him.
i am so over you, harvey jonas reyes chua hibo. you wasted a lot of my tears, effort, saliva, worry, money and 7 years of my life and i won't let you waste any more of it.
michelle andres, that obese guy's all yours. :)
