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the look

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i was in the locker room today preparing to go home when i happened to glance towards the hallway. for a split second i thought i saw harvey. but obviously it wouldn't be him. it was this team leader that looks a lot like him. the guy was looking my way and the way he was looking... well it made me think of harvey. it made me sad.

the way he was looking reminded me of the way harvey looks for me in a crowd. like a little worried and is missing me even if i have just left him a few moments before. hay. how i missed that look. how i wish somebody would look at me like that again. i think i would never get that same kind of attention from any guy, not in this lifetime.

it's making me melancholic.. sad. nostalgic. and once again, angry.

hay naku punyeta kasing future yan. puro future inisip nung tao. punyeta. nakita nang ako ang taong walang hinaharap. future future future. blah blah blah. siya din naman nahirapan. siya ang naghanap ng atensyon ng iba. punyeta.

i'm not sure i'm over him. my friends kit and marv are right. you can never get over the person. i'm trying not to think about him, but once he enters my mind, it's hard to stop thinking about anything related to him. i force myself not to think about those kinds of thoughts, they're dangerous. they get me in trouble.