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jeggae moon

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I had a very busy night last night..My friends from college rhia,allan, terns and ikang went to xymaca to catch brownman revival. I had so much fun listening to dino doing reggae and catching up with them. We also had a free consultation session with rhia's friend marlon who happens to be doctor..
After 3 bottles and lots of dancing I had the nerve to come up to Dino to ask for a picture and I also asked him if i they really are going over to Canada. I was thinking of asking him to greet my boyfriend harvey in their concert there..
I I went home with allan and we had a really really long talk..I barely slept (3 hours i guess) and when was about to take a bath there wasn't a drop of water! hayyy life.
I went home to work without taking a bath or doing 'number 2' hehe..
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Ich mochte Mickey zum PBB gewinnen.Bitte wählen MICKEY leute!

Hehe..Just practicing my rusty German. I was just saying please vote for mickey, i want him to win.
I'm so addicted to watching PBB that I don't join my officemates in their drinking session, instead I go home directly and hope that I will be able to watch PBB. Though most of the times I can't I still watch PBB uplate. Mariel is really wacky and funny (at times.)
Although I watch, I don't like texting my vote in because I do believe that all of this reality show crap is scripted. I just watch it for the sake of watching, for entertainment. I feel sad that it's almost over again.

My bet

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One boring saturday night with no DVD around, I watched the pilot show of PBB season 2. This guy totally stole my heart. The reason? he speaks German, and he looks a little bit like harvey.

I thought it was really pitiful if he couldn't speak Filipino..i was thinking what if I joined? at least he will have a
Anyway I got hooked to watching PBB because of him. My initial attraction still held, since he is really a decent straight forward guy that I thought him to be.
I really hope he wins. He is very smart, disciplined, and he plays the game right.
I wish I believe in text votes. I will definitely vote for him.
My other big 3? Bea, Gee-ann, and well..nel. I don't want to vote for that slut wendy or the puppet Bruce and who was that other guy? hehe.


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because of my new job, my bf and i get to talk often again..yesterday we talked again and he told me he decided to go home, hopefully within this year, to pick me up.
im not setting my hopes up, because, knowing him, this may be another mirage in the desert..a drawing on paper..
he always plans things, always promises stuff but most of them end up with...


or another plan.

aasa pa ba ako?


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im irritated at him. i normally am very understanding but lately im having trouble understanding him. im also getting paranoid.. the distance is getting into my skin, im even entertaining the idea that we cant be together anymore..

thats figuratively speaking coz we're not even together for like 2 years now. i just think that he has adjusted to his canadian environment and that he already has friends there basing on his facebook comments.

anyway i don't really like this feeling, this emptiness sucking my vitality and my positiveness.. i want to be happy for him but instead i feel like he is leaving his self - me included..

am i selfish? i want him to grow to adjust but the way i see it he already had and he has forgotten every memory we had together

i dont want this feeling to go on i want to be happy on my own as well.

hope (sorry kris)

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"What makes the desert beautiful," says the little prince, "is that somewhere it hides a well."
-the little prince

i guess that makes me a very positive person..i was asked today, what makes u smile? what did i answer? hope.

i always say that i live for the present. today. now. this moment. but there are times that i need to know that somehow sometime i will get what i always wish for - that is, happiness.

maybe thats why i dont get any suicidal tendencies even if there are really moments when i feel really depressed. i still have hope. i still believe that there is a well in my desert.

can i live without Harvey?

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He is my boyfriend for four years 10 days 4 hours (hehe). he's away in canada for almost 2 years now, so we've been together for 2 years.
He doesnt smoke ( i do) doesnt drink (i do) saves money (i dont) graduated from college (i didnt) and a very responsible person (im not)
Yeah, we're almost opposites..the only things we have in common is star wars, love for gadgets and games, sex(haha) and religious views (although he is still a practicing catholic)
I dont know what he saw in me, but i know what i saw in him.. i see my future clearly now - all because of him..You see im a very disorganized unstable person and i dont even know what i want from my life.
He has plans for everything, for me and for our future kids.
I dont even know where i will get my money for my rent and bills.
Whats funny though is i really love him although he means security to me..or is it the other way around? i feel secured thats why i love him?
If we part ways im not of a big loss to him, but i will feel like my future's gone..
The answer is, NO. he's my life..

(do i sound selfish and dependent? maybe i am)

just another day

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Its just another day at work..i haven't been here long yet (just 3 weeks!) and already im getting the hang of things..meaning im getting bored. hahaha!
what happens on a typical day?
i get up at 11am
i watch tv/play a pc game/watch dvd until 1230
i take a bath get ready by 1250
i leave home and ride a trike
then i wait for a skyblue car to pick me up
off to work by 120
im in the office by 150 i log in and then take my first break haha
after wards i answer messages after messages of horny fat american dicks
take breaks in between
by 1005 im downstairs waiting for the ride home
when i get home i play titan quest/watch dvd
i sleep by 3.
and there goes another cycle..........