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i think i'm going crazy.

one minute i'm almost crying and in the verge of jumping off of our rooftop, the next i'm laughing about a post i read online.

ah what is wrong with me? i can't even sustain one emotion for an entire hour? maybe i need to get a therapist. or a psychiatrist. i don't know.

i really am going crazy. i can't think straight. right now if i stop for a moment to try to think i know i'll feel depressed. i don't want to. it's too much to bear. it's easier to pretend to be happy and carefree. but until when can i take it? maybe one day it will all boil over and i'm afraid of what i can do to myself. i'm afraid i'll lose my sanity. i'm afraid i'll lose myself.