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i gave someone a hug today because her BF just left for Seattle. she turned away and seemed to have teared up.
me too.
i remembered the feeling of being left. i remembered how hard it was to cope knowing that the person who you used to spend every waking time with is now out of your reach. i remember crying myself to sleep most nights. i remember not daring to go out because every place reminded me of some happy memory. i remember the sadness. the loneliness.
those thoughts came back today. and i couldn't help but cry my heart out. even if i was at work and doing my work at the same time.
i remember praying just to be able to touch his face, or his hands. i used to imagine my pillow is that guy. and my blanket that comforts me is him, hugging me back. it was really really hard to not be able to reach out and hold the one you love. being together, not really doing anything, even if it's just the tip of your feet that touches each other? it's priceless.
that's why i can't blame harvey entirely about finding someone else. see? i've already forgiven him.


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