I'm just making an excuse for not writing. I just don't like to talk about yesterday.
It has been 2 years since Harvey left for Canada. I thought I can forget it by not thinking about it. I drank with friends after shift so that when I come home I could just lay down and sleep.
But no. After 3 bottles (thats my limit) and an hour of tossing and turning in my bed, I still remember. Good thing an anonymous donor sent me 30 pesos worth of load. I called him up after I realized its saturday and he should be home.
So we talked - no I mean he talked I cried. I reminded him that my limit of waiting was 2 years, and its now up. I know I should not pressure him like this, its not fair. There really are times when I want to give up and tell him to go find another girl there. Once I even thought of taking my life so I can get to see him, since he's psychic. (Don't worry, it was a momentary thought) And there are times when I'm tempted to look for another guy that can help pass the time. These are stupid thoughts. Its not fair because I know he's situation is much harder than mine. At least I have friends I can count on. He doesn't, he's alone.
I didn't tell him those. I just told him I'll still wait, no matter what. I still love him really deeply, even if I'm having doubts I know there isn't any other guy that I will feel this way. He's mine, I'm his, and thats for keeps.
It has been 2 years since Harvey left for Canada. I thought I can forget it by not thinking about it. I drank with friends after shift so that when I come home I could just lay down and sleep.
But no. After 3 bottles (thats my limit) and an hour of tossing and turning in my bed, I still remember. Good thing an anonymous donor sent me 30 pesos worth of load. I called him up after I realized its saturday and he should be home.
So we talked - no I mean he talked I cried. I reminded him that my limit of waiting was 2 years, and its now up. I know I should not pressure him like this, its not fair. There really are times when I want to give up and tell him to go find another girl there. Once I even thought of taking my life so I can get to see him, since he's psychic. (Don't worry, it was a momentary thought) And there are times when I'm tempted to look for another guy that can help pass the time. These are stupid thoughts. Its not fair because I know he's situation is much harder than mine. At least I have friends I can count on. He doesn't, he's alone.
I didn't tell him those. I just told him I'll still wait, no matter what. I still love him really deeply, even if I'm having doubts I know there isn't any other guy that I will feel this way. He's mine, I'm his, and thats for keeps.
