My Toilet Epiphanies

goodbye, 2010

2010-12-29T05:36:00.000-08:00

"Some people, they can't just move on, you know, mourn and cry and be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me... I don't know. I didn't want to fix it, to forget. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just...something that happened. And like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time. "
— Sarah Dessen (The Truth about Forever)

my choice

2010-12-10T13:53:00.000-08:00

My vote goes to Biyaheng Pinoy.

Yes, one of the biggest reason being that Wencel is my friend.

But the main reason is because I have been a witness - and I think, contributor - to its fruition. I have seen how the blog progressed from being just another amateur travel blog, to what it is now - a respected, prolific, credible travel, food and lifestyle blog.

I have taken a sabbatical from writing, but hey, i can't pass up the chance to see a chance for this blog to gain an award it so deserve.

2010-11-29T15:23:00.001-08:00

i'm moving my blog somewhere else. ta-tah!

so anyway.

2010-10-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

"It's your own conscience

That is gonna remind you

That it's your heart and nobody else's

That is gonna judge."

-Bob Marley-

so.

2010-09-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

i checked this awesome site. and it showed me who visits this blog, which city they're from, what linked them to my blog, and what search word they used. this is part of the result.

hello visitor :D

2010-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

it wasn't me who called you. not my idea to text you. although i would always wonder how you've been, i'm never going to contact you.

ldr

2010-09-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

i gave someone a hug today because her BF just left for Seattle. she turned away and seemed to have teared up.

me too.

i remembered the feeling of being left. i remembered how hard it was to cope knowing that the person who you used to spend every waking time with is now out of your reach. i remember crying myself to sleep most nights. i remember not daring to go out because every place reminded me of some happy memory. i remember the sadness. the loneliness.

those thoughts came back today. and i couldn't help but cry my heart out. even if i was at work and doing my work at the same time.

i remember praying just to be able to touch his face, or his hands. i used to imagine my pillow is that guy. and my blanket that comforts me is him, hugging me back. it was really really hard to not be able to reach out and hold the one you love. being together, not really doing anything, even if it's just the tip of your feet that touches each other? it's priceless.

that's why i can't blame harvey entirely about finding someone else. see? i've already forgiven him.

yellow

2010-09-01T02:41:00.000-07:00

wow it's been a while since i've posted anything in my blog. i don't know why. but maybe it's because i plurk a lot instead of writing lengthy blog posts.

what's been happening to me lately? well. well.. well...

i don't know. i'm at a crossroads. i'm trying to distance myself from people i've been close to. i don't want to miss them if i leave them. i just want to start anew. good thing i have lifelong friends that i can count on. they know me the best, and they give the best advice. the only problem is, will i follow them?

update

2010-08-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

seems like i have not been spending enough time writing anymore. i just have too many sites that i'm maintaining right now and my blogger seems to be one of my least prioritized. i just can't find the courage to confront what my innermost thoughts are and publish them on the web, knowing that someone who i don't know personally would be reading it.

there were too many things that happened in the past two weeks that i've not written about, mainly my birthday. and the subsequent celebration. well.. what can i say about the celebration? i was too drunk to remember what happened. all i know is...everybody had fun :)

thank you

2010-07-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

ok so...it's past 2 and i'm officially 28 years old.

28 sounds so old. good thing i don't feel like i'm old. and i know age is relative. it's but a number.

i feel so loved and lucky to have so many friends. every time i opened my facebook account i get notifications of friends greeting me. even people i work gave me warm greetings that made my day complete.

i'm just so lucky i have them in my life. if not for some people, i don't think i'll ever get pass the depression stage when i realized everything i planned and dreamt of is gone. they're the people that kept me going if i felt that my whole future was falling apart.

i used to think i wouldn't be able to live without that guy harvey in my life. looking back, i know i can. i am forever grateful to my friend aldo for being with me during my darkest hour. he saw the whole thing and he witnessed how i really cried. i know i was so pathetic that day but he was there to comfort me. i'm also thankful to eraine for coming over to make sure i was okay and for seeing how i laughed and felt foolish while telling her the story. and to erwin, who in his own way helped me a lot by taking my mind off my main concern. i.e., saying that " the window is open." haha. and my teammates who were really there to lend an ear to my rantings, and i actually met a lot of new friends inside the office during this period. i'm not sure why but maybe it's because misery loves company. =þ

i did, however strayed away from my old friends. i didn't want them to hear about harvey because they knew him personally. i don't want to bad mouth the person even if he is worth bad mouthing. it's only lately that i was able to get back with them and talk about him. anyways what is there to talk about? it's done and over with. i also appreciate how they respected my silence and never asked intruding questions about what happened.

to whoever is reading this, please tell the guy thank you for being a jerk. if he wasn't i wouldn't have realized how lucky i was to have such wonderful friends and such wonderful life. i can keep smiling knowing that my life never revolved around him, so he wasn't such a big loss. and that i was right. we do have to live in the Now, not in whatever future which might not even come.

birdie!

2010-07-26T16:25:00.001-07:00

on the 29th, i'll be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my 18th birthday.

wow. really? i'm 28? that fast huh?

a friend of mine asked me once how was it like to be 27? well. too many craziness happened. so i really don't know how to describe it.

well i don t want to write about it right now. later maybe.

just want to share a pic i stumbled upon. sorry i forgot where i got it.

shop talk

2010-07-09T17:40:00.000-07:00

seems like i haven't been writing anything lately. i guess i was just so preoccupied with my office life that i forget to write. yes i still go online. only on facebook and plurk, and i tend to forget i do have a blog.

hmm.. what to write about?

let's see. i hate my job, but i love my workplace. i want to quit doing the job i'm doing right now but i don't want to resign. first because i don't have enough savings, second because i enjoy the company of people i work with and third i don't think i can get another job which is as easy as what i'm doing right now for the same amount of salary i'm currently getting.

a lot of my friends had already resigned. most people i know are thinking of resigning too. the job isn't stressful. it's actually the management that's making it stressful. and the fraud calls. don't make me talk about the fraud calls. ugh. this is it for now. i think i would rather watch my frontierville plants grow than talk about work right now.

my summer - part 1

2010-06-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

since i went through a major break up this year, i wanted to make sure i spend a lot of time for myself. i made sure my summer would be worth remembering more than that incident.where have i been these past few months?

i was just going to write a very short description of sagada, but see, i loved the place and decided to write this whole thing about my experience.

i went to sagada with 3 of my closest office friends. Yes, that's right. Me, erwin, aldo and raul. we planned our leaves but we didn't plan where to go. we decided to go to sagada days before we actually left. good thing i have connections who helped us find the perfect guide who helped us find a place to sleep and toured us around the rustic village and the dark caves.

we took the long way, a bus trip to baguio from 5 am to 12 noon,then another bus ride from baguio to sagada which took 6 hours. the road winds around the mountain. on one side all you'll see are cliffs, the other side, well, mountain. it was a welcome sight after all the billboards, the shanties and other garbage in the metro.

when we reached sagada at around 6 pm, it was really dark. i thought they didn't have road lights but it turned out to be a black out. haha. we went to eat at salt and pepper and had our first taste of the native's hospitality.

on our second day, we embarked on a spelunking expedition to sumaguing cave. it was, i guess more than 100 feet down, so it was really scary traversing the sometimes rocky, sometimes muddy with guano, sometimes wet earth. when we descended my companions left me in the middle of the path because the next part was chest high deep water. turned out the water there might get polluted with my menstruation. hehehe. so i spent 30 minutes waiting on a rock, smoking and staring at the darkness waiting for them to get back. it was scary not because i was thinking of lamang lupa and such, but i thought there would be snakes and bats. anyway, i got out of it alive so no biggie. :)

it took us half a day to do that. our guide, kuya John, saw that we seemed not to be fazed by the trek, told us that we will go visit the falls in the afternoon. so after lunch, we headed to Aguid, where we hiked for almost an hour to get to the Bomod-ok falls. the trail snakes through the rice terraces and goes on and on and on. since i did have my period that time my IBS attacked. good thing kuya john knows a lot of the people there and i took advantage of their toilet. bwahahaha!

anyways, it was a little disappointing that the falls during that time was not in full blast. of course i didn't dip in the water. it was really really cold. and there were a lot of people bathing and having their foot massaged. after the trek, it was a good thing our landlady, or auntie, prepared delicious food for us.

the next day was spent seeing the sights near the town proper. we went to the church, which was really really quaint. it made me think of going back there to get married. CHOS!

we also went to echo valley, which is just a bit of hike. kuya john said to shout all my anger away and it'll echo back to me. i tried shouting 'putangina ka harvey!' but apparently i lacked conviction and i didn't hear any echo. see, i'm not really angry. we also saw some hanging coffins, which are, by the way, eerie. and tried a bit of pottery. i successfully made an ashtray, and i fully intend to get it there. i will be back.

there were still a lot of places we didn't see. since we lack budget and time. i'm sure there'll be next time. looking at the pics every now and then make me want to go back there more. oh well, im sure i'll get the chance one day someday. we spent only 3 days there, it was tiring but worth every penny. :) definitely a place i'll go back to, again and again.

_____

2010-06-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

hey you!

what are you doing sneaking up in my blog???

if you're reading my posts, then leave a comment.

dump.

2010-06-22T15:50:00.001-07:00

here's something i wanna dump here before i completely erase from my yahoo account (which by the way i have to change passwords in fear of someone who knows my it will go delete it himself):

kapal ng mukha kung makapagsinungaling. until the end. what an asshole.

anyway. i'm trying to let go of all negativity in my life and i'm going off the radar for a while.

i'll keep this blog to remind me how NOT to trust another person completely.

to YOU, who visited this blog (from Edmonton, using a Mozilla Firefox browser, stentor national integrated communications network DSL connection) 5 times since May, I wish you the best of luck. you'll need it when Karma comes knocking on harvey's door.

And if you know the guy you keep typing on that google search box of yours*, say hi to him for me. and yes i still want someone to slap him really hard. and then, maybe then, i'll stop putting his name on my blog. =þ

~~after all, i didn't put this on the web for him or anyone else to read off of, i just need to take away some of the pain he caused.~~

i wasn't miserable these past few months, but i wasn't completely happy either. it was hard for me to trust anyone, and I did trust harvey. being betrayed the way he did to me is by far the worst thing i have experienced. that part is hard to get over. having loved and lost? tsk, i'm fine with that.

google.

2010-06-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

to you who seems to be always googling 'harvey hibo':

i can stalk you too.

believe what you see on the net. it's true. :þ

pffft.

2010-06-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

some days are really not worth it.

i woke up at 12 noon cuz my sister called me. argh! i still haven't recovered from my lack of sleep yesterday.

ah yesterday.

i dreamed about harvey. in my dream I called him accidentally. he was half asleep so he addressed me as he would before.. and talked about missing each other. i'm not sure if it was a dream or it really happened. made my day crappy yesterday.

i remember the feeling of talking to him.

i'm ready!

2010-06-03T16:07:00.000-07:00

http://home.fuse.net/skycorder/sponge/imready.wav

yes i am. ready to move on.

it's been 3 months since I found out the guy I thought was perfect isn't. he is a lying cheating a$$hole and took the cowardly way out of our almost 7 year long relationship.

yes, that pig on the right is the guy i'm talking about.

tomorrow, June 5th, would have been our 7th year as a couple.

we started out in college, me in UP and he in UST. mondays were the only days we usually could meet. we had so much in common, but knew each other so little. it all started out as just for fun, since we were both so young. we used to do too many things together. we used to like similar things. we went to places together.

when i think back all those years

we spent together, yes i was happy for a time. he and i get along really well, and we have fun wh

en we're together, with friends or even when we're talking on the phone.

i know i was really patient with him, and so was he to me. he doesn't smoke, i do, and he tolerated it cuz he "understands

" me. he leaves me hanging or waiting all the time, but i never lose my patience, cuz i understand him.

since he moved away, we did start drifting apart. at first it was working, we talk on the phone like he's just in marikina, chat when we're online or sometimes send

letters to each other.

(see, i don't even know if he's pretending to miss

me or he really does in this picture)

i felt the distance most especially when he moved to edmonton and told me he was moving farther away. it's like he is putting too much distance between us instead of bridging the gap to make it closer.

i thought we were different. i though the long distance wouldn't be a hindrance in our relationship. i thought he loved me. i thought he was as strong as he taught me to be. well i thought wrong.

i did think of breaking up with him long before i discovered his other girlfriend. most of my friends actually told me i should, but i was just so stubborn to admit the relationship wasn't working. i thought we could work things out. when he came home last year, all he did was

be mad at the smallest things. he changed. he used to be so happy go lucky and carefree like me, but when he visited, he was irritable, sensitive, homophobic and c

ursed at every opportunity he could. still, i tried to understand him.

(this was his pasalubong last year when he went home)

well i don't want to dwell anymore on those negative thoughts. i'm dumping these pics on my blog so i can erase them from my harddrive.

(this was our last happy couple picture) >>

what i want to do right now is celebrate, rejoice and be happy. :)

i am free. i don't have to pretend to care about his welfare. i don't have to think about what he would think every time i am enjoying myself. i don't have to worry myself to death about how he is faring over there in canada. i don't have to check my phone every minute when he tells me he was going to call but haven't. i don't have to think way far into the future and wonder what would my life be in a cold heartless place where he is now. i don't have to be sad even when i'm not just to make myself believe i am missing him and want him next to me. i don't have to give excuses for him to other people.

i just don't have to force myself to love miss and worry about him.

and i'm so so so GLAD it's over.

now, after 3 months, my grieving period is officially over.

yes i do miss what i thought he was, but i don't miss him as my howe anymore.

i still miss talking to him about inane things, but hey i can do that with my friends too.

i miss having a boyfriend, but not especially harvey as that boyfriend. he may have been any other guy and i would still miss him.

i am so over you, harvey jonas reyes chua hibo. you wasted a lot of my tears, effort, saliva, worry, money and 7 years of my life and i won't let you waste any more of it.

michelle andres, that obese guy's all yours. :)

coincidences

2010-05-22T00:02:00.000-07:00

sorry. no details. maybe, just maybe later.

fed up

2010-05-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

i hate my teammates. they want to make fun of me and a certain guy during our outing. arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh! sometimes they just don't know when to stop.

self diagnosis

2010-05-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

they say writing is therapeutic. it helps one find answers. ah, i wish it is true for me. but i am not a really good writer, i don't think i express myself well.

hmmm... what to write about today? i can't think of a topic. ok i won't have a topic instead. i'll just write whatever comes to my mind then.

what's on my mind anyway? i really don't know. i'm a scatterbrain. i have a problem staying in one topic. i cannot finish anything completely unless it's required. when i watch a movie, i can only finish it if i'm watching it with someone. or when i'm in the theater. i tried challenging myself to finish a movie. and hey, i did finish movies, but not in one sitting. it's the Matrix trilogy. yeah, the movie's great, but still can't watch it in one go.

now i want to stop writing about it. i'm bored. is this a sign that i have adhd?

may 13, 2009

2010-05-13T17:28:00.000-07:00

what was so special about this day?

a year ago, harvey came home to manila after 3 years of living in canada. i can remember that day like it happened yesterday.

it was a planned vacation, but that day i still had work. harvey arrived the day before, but we decided to meet the day after he landed. so there, i was at work and i was nervous excited giddy and apprehensive all at the same time. i told my everyone about it, so they were kind enough to give me half day.

we agreed to meet at gateway. i arrived early, since it was just a few steps away from work. while i was retouching in the restroom he called and said he's already there. so i run as fast as i could towards where he was while still talking to him on the phone. he said he couldn't see me. i saw him first. i was happy.

we hugged. stared at each other for a long while. kissed. teased each other.hugged again. then i asked him to pinch me just to make sure i wasn't dreaming. it hurt, so i wasn't. we bantered, made a few jokes, laughed. it was like what it was before he left.

fuck why am i tearing up while writing this? oh well. i don't think i can continue writing. i'm not sure if i miss him as a person, or i just miss the thought that we used to be that close. maybe it's because i didn't see the changes in him because i was just so happy to see him.

i am confused. or maybe because i just had 2 bottles of beer and that's why my tears fall easily? i really don't know. frick. i hate this. i should get some sleep instead.

disturbia

2010-05-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

i think i'm going crazy.

one minute i'm almost crying and in the verge of jumping off of our rooftop, the next i'm laughing about a post i read online.

ah what is wrong with me? i can't even sustain one emotion for an entire hour? maybe i need to get a therapist. or a psychiatrist. i don't know.

i really am going crazy. i can't think straight. right now if i stop for a moment to try to think i know i'll feel depressed. i don't want to. it's too much to bear. it's easier to pretend to be happy and carefree. but until when can i take it? maybe one day it will all boil over and i'm afraid of what i can do to myself. i'm afraid i'll lose my sanity. i'm afraid i'll lose myself.

looking back

2010-05-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

i started by first blog 7 years ago. wow that was a very long time ago. right now i'm trying to re-read the entries i wrote and i couldn't even remember i wrote them. hahaha. i guess that's one of the things that make me write stuff like this again. at least when i look back i will feel amused by how i was feeling at that moment.

oh my god. what a mushy corny person i was when i was younger! one entry describes how i want him around all the time. and one letter describing what happened between me and my other ex. it's fun to read that there are things i have forgotten and the internet hasn't.

I have forgotten that Harvey was just my rebound. hahahaha!

freestylin'

2010-05-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday night and i'm home alone and bored. I can't think of anything else so this is where I ended up. I think I wanna try what Barney Stinson does when he's bored. :D

Do an imaginary interview.

Okay. So ask me, how am I doing after the break up?

I'm doing well. Really well I guess. I don't even think about Harvey too much. I'm not sure if it's what they call repressive memory but I really don't think about him as often as I suppose I should.

How about the hurt of being cheated on? Is it still there?

Of course it is. I don't think it will ever be gone. It will become a part of me, but not like a slowly degenerating disease but more like a scar that heals at a really slow pace.

Does it help that you haven't seen him in a year before you broke up?

Yes. It's a big yes. I don't have recent memories to hold on to, like dates or outings or mushy moments. All of those were gone long before the relationship fell apart.

How are you handling your newly-found singlehood?

Great! Although there are times I am more sadder about the thought that I don't have a person I can call mine. I did take it for granted that I know Harvey was always there if I give him a call and will love me unconditionally. That's what I miss. he was the kind of person who I can turn to anytime my friends, who are here, are unavailable for emotional support. He wasn't just a boyfriend to me. He was my personal diary. I told him things I'm not proud to say out loud to everyone. I told him everything that happened in my everyday life. He was there to listen. He was there to tell me not what to do but what I need to do. I might not have always listened but I did appreciate his concern for me. A blog doesn't do that for me. Friends? yes, but I don't want to burden them with my craziness. Maybe it really was too much for Harvey.

What do you do when you miss him?

Do stuff like this. Blog. or tell whoever is next to me/available for chat that I do miss the guy. Play dotA. Go stalk anyone in Facebook. Literally just waste my time doing something inane.

I can't think of anymore questions to ask myself. If you do have one, tell me.

no space for new messages

2010-05-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

my friend E came over tonight. she said she was sad because her friend T now has a gf. she's not really jealous, just sad that she won't be able to hang out with him anymore since the GF might be jealous.

i know the feeling. i know it's selfish but it's sad when your friend gets someone else to hang out with. leaves no more time for you. :(

this too, shall pass

2010-04-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

maybe if i repeat it it will be true.

this too shall pass.

argh! i hate this shitty feeling.

mind over matter.

aja aja fighting!

the look

2010-04-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

i was in the locker room today preparing to go home when i happened to glance towards the hallway. for a split second i thought i saw harvey. but obviously it wouldn't be him. it was this team leader that looks a lot like him. the guy was looking my way and the way he was looking... well it made me think of harvey. it made me sad.

the way he was looking reminded me of the way harvey looks for me in a crowd. like a little worried and is missing me even if i have just left him a few moments before. hay. how i missed that look. how i wish somebody would look at me like that again. i think i would never get that same kind of attention from any guy, not in this lifetime.

it's making me melancholic.. sad. nostalgic. and once again, angry.

hay naku punyeta kasing future yan. puro future inisip nung tao. punyeta. nakita nang ako ang taong walang hinaharap. future future future. blah blah blah. siya din naman nahirapan. siya ang naghanap ng atensyon ng iba. punyeta.

i'm not sure i'm over him. my friends kit and marv are right. you can never get over the person. i'm trying not to think about him, but once he enters my mind, it's hard to stop thinking about anything related to him. i force myself not to think about those kinds of thoughts, they're dangerous. they get me in trouble.

soothing sagada

2010-04-14T05:19:00.000-07:00

i thought going somewhere else would take my mind off stuff. but no, it makes things a lot worse.

i wrote this while on a 6 hour bus ride to sagada.

i'm not sure if it's me being alone right now or if it's me being high up in the clouds that's causing my pensive mood. I do have a lot in my mind and solitude is one of the things i've been trying to avoid. I don't want to have to think deep and let my mind wander. It makes me go crazy.

I have a lot of questions in my mind and it is catching up in moments like this. I have had a lot of imaginary conversations with different people and i'm still not able to reach any conclusions or solutionsn to my dilemmas.

I'm not sure I want them answered. :(

don't speak.

2010-04-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

most private thing i'm willing to admit here?

~~what happened here stays here.not really gonna tell. this blog is too public to admit anything of that sort.~~

~~not sure where to go on from here.~~

~~i really feel like i'm losing a very very good friend.~~

everything changed. it doesn't seem so apparent in the surface, but it changes everything.

what was i thinking back then? what was i thinking? i never thought i'm that kind of girl. really didn't. am i?

oh well i guess i wasn't thinking. damn big bang.

cryptic me strikes again.

continuation..

2010-03-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

i procrastinate a lot. i put things in the back burner. now, let me try to write about it.

when i saw my friend terence the other day, he said.. 'ikaw kasi cess ayaw mo naman sumunod dun.' apparently he noticed that my words contradict my actions. i always tell them that yes, i want to be with him, yes we plan to live there together in the future. but i don't have a passport yet. i have done not a single step to be nearer to him. i just wait. wait without doing anything.

was it my subconscious telling me that i never wanted to leave the philippines and live in canada?

others

2010-03-12T00:58:00.000-08:00

i know a lot of people. i have a lot of friends. not one of them know the same side of me. i have different facets like a diamond. i say something to one friend that i would never tell another. it's rare when i tell someone something off the top of my head. i could never do that. i think about everything first before i tell my secrets.
you may know me, you may not, but one thing i can tell you. you can never say you really know me. even my ex. i did consider him my best friend, but there were a lot of things i kept hidden from him. there were in fact, a dozen. it's not impossible but since i still have my name attached to this blog he might one day get to read this so i still won't tell him. but one thing is for certain, i didn't betray him the way he betrayed me and our 6 year 8 month relationship. i didn't cheat on him.
yes it did occur to me to cheat on him. actually before the whole thing happened, i was thinking about it, but i didn't. i was too damn loyal. he got me on his hook. he always said it was difficult working and being there in canada. he was always telling me how pitiful he is. and i was thinking, it would break his heart if i cheat. boy, was i wrong.

to be continued...

haist.

2010-03-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

i'm back.
after a long sojourn, i'm officially back.
i need an outlet to express my emotions because i am afraid i will lose my sanity if i don't start pouring it out. sorry to whoever reads this. i myself hate emotional vampires and needy people, but i just need to write to heal.
what do i need healing from?
my boyfriend of 6 years 8 months is gone.
gone because he has chosen to be loved and cared for by someone else. someone who can be physically beside him when i can't. and he is blaming me for not being there for him.
to those who don't know, he is canada. i am in the philippines. we have been together for 2 years 2 months when he left. we were both idealistic and believed in the romantic idea that long distance relationship will work as long as we have each other. obviously it didn't.
i'm not really sure when the relationship started falling apart.i will write about it later.

sorry

2008-12-08T02:04:00.000-08:00

i can't seem to find time to post anything about my life. anyways i have been way too busy lately.

oh and one thing! i hate friendster! they deleted my boyfriend's account. and now i can't read the messages i receive even if i click reply or forward. all of them are blank, which is impossible since they came from different people. i think their days are numbered. so those who don't have a multiply or facebook account, make one now!

update

2008-09-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

sorry i haven't been blogging for a long time. it's a sad case of writer's block. hahaha. yeah right. seriously i haven't thought about writing anything lately. whew! what have i been doing lately?

i got a series of texts and YMs from people asking if I was returning to my old job. just to clear things up, nope, i am not. i am happy with what i have right now.

i just got regularized on my job..yes,same job for 6 months. yehee! it turned out to be good. actually more than good. i know its not perfect, but petiks time is usually half of the 8 hour shift! anyone interested to apply, just message me. hehe.

how's the job? well some people wouldn't like it, but some would. essentially my job is to read what the callers type and what type what the called party says. sounds easy, right? the only problem is when they are prank calling us and we can't do anything about it but pity the losers who think they are funny when they're not. we get paid to cuss, verbally abuse other people, blasphemize, and read other people's bad spelling and we get paid to wait silently (well not really silently, but on mute, hehe.)

now does it sound like a dream job? nope nope and nope. what's fun is the time when there are no calls and we just log off the system and pass time doing nothing while getting paid.

i love it!

ummm

2008-05-25T22:43:00.001-07:00

Talked to my boyfriend today. He told me he took an IQ test something and he got 126. I told him I'll probably get 60 (hahaha) if I try any IQ test.. but see.. I'm not retarded after all! =)
It says that I'm Gifted (2.3% of test takers). wahahahahaha!

Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test

lesson for everyone

2008-05-05T22:17:00.000-07:00

This pic i swiped from makeuseof.com reminds me of someone. Hahahaha!

imma stalker

2008-04-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

Haha! i know where you are!

Sign by Danasoft - Myspace Layouts and Signs

You can't hide from me...

boring or better?

2008-04-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

the bosses on my new job are pretty strict. we can' t talk while we are waiting for a call, especially while on a call. we can't slouch - i heard someone shouted "everyone! sit up straight!" earlier. we can't bring any writing materials or electronic devices. we have 15-30-15 minutes break scheds.
if you're caught doing any of those, you'll get an IR (internal report) immediately. (although i don't know anyone who had.

*sigh* i know. i know. i make reklamos too soon. maybe i'll get used to it. maybe i won't. i don't know.
this is just my first week as a full fledged "communication assistant" and i have these already. hayyyy i'm not sure i have the will to stay in this job. i hope so - it does pay so well. :) only, they don't have good medical and insurance coverages. and one more thing! i don't get how they compute the day off. because as far as i know for this week my day off is only 42 hours!

found it!

2008-03-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

I found a new job. It pays so well! Hehehe.

wanted: perfect job

2008-03-14T04:14:00.000-07:00

I'm on a job hunt again. I just submitted my formal resignation from the company, and I really wish I'll get a job real fast.
I've applied to several companies already but I haven't figured out if I really want to work there. I went to a job fair last week with my friends and tried my luck with a call center I haven't had the nerve applying at before. Fortunately my stars were perfectly aligned that day and I passed all their exams. Haha! I was so proud of myself that out of 15 examinees only 2 passed, me included. They also had this brain hemorrhage-causing IT diagnostics exam which I, uhhm, passed. It did boost my confidence.
One thing worries me though. They require a background check. I don't have a seedy past, I just don't want anyone poking into my life. or maybe I'm worried some previous boss or colleague will give them bad impressions of me.
Oh well, if I don't pass that part of their exam, I'm going to look for another job opening. (With a much higher salary that what they offer too, I hope.)
Sssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,

Anyone who knows any call center job openings there? Message me.

Tag!

2008-02-02T16:09:00.001-08:00

How long have you been blogging?
- tough question. Peach, can you help me with this? I know I made my first one with easyjournal. That was waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy back (August 03 - I checked). I didn't write continuously though.

What inspired you to write a blog, and who are your mentors?
- I think it was thespark.com. Or one of those very few sites that I visit before - I got curious with the new think back then.

What are the 3 things that you love about being online?
- I learn a lot.
- I stay connected with old and new friends.
- Too many things to do its difficult to get bored

What are the three things that you struggle with in the online-world?
- its anonymity

I'm tagging everyone but ideapinkrose!

beachy beach

2008-02-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to be basking in the sun in Puerto Galera today. My team at work is there right now enjoying themselves.
I so wish I could join them, but I already promised myself I will not spend money like how I spent my money 2 years ago.
When I was in HTMT I used to join every team outing there was, even if I am not a team member. I loved the fact that I had to travel and sleep somewhere else - not to mention the fact that I get to drink a lot :P
OMG. I am really getting old. All I think about right now are the bills that I have to pay, the stuff for the house that I have to buy and the money I will be saving if I spend less on clothes.

Whew! I really hope that this time its for real.

super busy

2008-01-19T15:57:00.000-08:00

I never knew this job could be really hectic and stressful. Oh well good thing I have my stress relievers. :)

My housemate and I just bought a new TV last thursday. We went shopping for one, and when I first saw it, I fell in love with it, so did he. Here's how it looks like:

Doesn't it look sooooooooooo good? :)

happy? holidays

2007-12-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

I like gifts.

I like shopping for gifts, then wrapping it, and mostly seeing the reaction of the people I give the gifts to. This year I don't think I will have the pleasure. Of seeing them see my gifts anyway.

Its really hard to choose a gift for anyone. Mostly its because I am on a tight budget. I still have no gift for my boyfriend, but he understands that. I will buy a gift from him for myself instead. Hmm.. I'm not counting the stuff I already bought as gift from him. :p

Too bad I don't have a big 13th month pay this year. I bet I will have much MORE fun shopping for gifts.

I've been working and sleeping and eating and shopping this last few weeks that I don't have time to update my blog anymore. I don't even think I will have time to celebrate the holidays, as I am not sure if I will have work or not next week. Maybe I'll just sleep the week off. Who knows?

*******

Here's a pic from our company Christmas party. I was almost tempted to upload them all but unfortunately I am not on all the pics.
Anyways the girl with her hair down is usually like that..she doesn't want her picture taken.

kaput

2007-11-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

I think I have been blogging less and less lately. Mainly its because for some reason blogger doesn't work in the office. I may be online everyday but I don't get to sign in and post a blog. There are other ways though, so its mainly laziness. Hahaha. What else is new? I'm always lazy.

Anyway I want to share a few stuff. I am addicted to Mystery Case Files. Hahahaha. I especially like Ravenhearst because of its intricate puzzles to open doors and stuff. I'm already missing it since my friend who visited (and brought her über nice laptop) is now back to bicol. How I wish I can afford to have the PC at home fixed. How much is a memory card this days? i really don't know how to fix hardware stuff so (once again) I feel to lazy to ask anyone about repairing it.

Speaking of repairs, our TV is now broken. Kaput. doesn't work. I miss watching J.D...hay.. We still haven't decided if we will buy a new one or just have this one fixed. Anyway it had serviced us for I guess 3 years? I even remember the day my engineer housemates took it home. Now that was a funny story. Tell it to ya later, my phone's ringing, and its my beau. Got to go. :)

a year back.

2007-11-24T17:06:00.000-08:00

i saw this picture on my friend's multiply account. She works at the c-cube right now and maybe she wanted to let me know this pic is still there. Hahaha. This is my only commendation posted on the wall.

update

2007-11-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

so much has happened. for some reason i can't access blogger in our office although i'm online most of the time. where shall i start?
ador never showed up. In the last message i received from him he said he want to know what my bank account number is so he can repay me my money. yeah right.
what else what else? oh i don't know. some of us are making some drastic moves just to make sure he will never do it to anyone again. i don't know how they plan to prevent him though.
enough about that guy, i don't care. I believe karma is a strong force. I actually pity him for doing what he did. He must be really desperate.

Alphabet Tag

2007-10-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Ideapinkrose . Sorry if I was late..was busy lately.

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I love reading
2. I hate Ador Mawanay.
3. I like gadgets.
4. I hate myself for being duped.
5. I want to live in Canada for good
6. B.A. Comparative Literature
7. Major in cutting classes. haha!

A - Age: 25

B - Band Listening To Right Now: none

C - Career: Call Center Agent. is it a career?

D - Drink or Smoke: both.

E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: harvey and my friends

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: i like pochi pochi better

H - Have a Boyfriend: yeah he's name is Harvey

I - In love: with him

J - Junk Food You Like: Potato Chips

K - Kids: none yet.

L - Longest Ride Ever: bicol to manila. haha

N - Names For Your Future Kids: Vader.hehe and oh..leia

O - One Wish You Have Now: be with Harvey always

P - Phobias: afraid of fire, hot air balloons and dogs.

Q - Favorite Quote: "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain

R - Reasons To Smile: My boyfriend loves me so much.

S - Sleeping Hours: lately? 8 am

T - Time You Woke Up: Hmm..7 pm

U - Unknown Fact About You: i'm really secretive

V - Vegetable You Hate: pechay. haha

W - Worst Habit: i procrastinate

X - X-rays You've Had: at least 4?

Y - Yummy Foods: pasta

Z - Zodiac Sign: Leo

I'm tagging peachy, and wencel

again

2007-10-20T05:16:00.002-07:00

Ooops.. I hid the article I wrote yesterday. I have to.
Update..early this morning I received a lot of text messages from him.

guys sori naharang ako kahpn ngyn lng ako ni release. wag kau umals ng has nio idlvr k 2day ung mga ordr nio. agen my apologys.

binubuyo ksi n ****** n nanloloko n daw ako at tnakbok n daw un cel at pera nakakapagtaka nga eh. pckge k dyn (sa office) eh 22,000 plus 2,500 allowance. pag interasan ko ba ung tg 500 n dwn. hahay ang kikitd ksi ng utak ng iba wala k pa gnagwa me husga na.

eh nakidnap ako kahapn muntk n nga patayn eh. at nasa news naman ung nangyari sa makati.

That was 9 am this morning. He said his driver is going to deliver it at 10 am and he was on his way to our officemate's house. At this moment I am still waiting for him. Should I wait or not?

a friday to remember

2007-10-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

Today is a really memorable day. I'm sorry about the people who died and were injured in the Glorietta bombing. It was also memorable for my monster batchmates. I really feel bad about what happened in Makati but I already feel bad about someone right now. Yesterday i mentioned this certain witness who happened to be my batchmate in training. he told us he sells cellphone as installment and all we have to do is give him our address and his 'people' will just do a character check on us just to know if we will be able to pay. what he was selling was smuggled goods that he got from customs. imagine getting an n73 music edition for 8 thousand pesos. how much is it being sold in the market? i guess 13 thousand would be a fair price right? so of course a lot of people grabbed the chance. he was also selling a toshiba satellite a100 laptop for 25K and macbook for the same price. He was asking for a deposit. On wednesday 3 of my co-trainees gave their Motorola L6 as their bond. Some gave cash, 1,000 each. some gave 500 per unit. some waited until he will deliver those units he promised. He came home early on Thursday saying that he will get the items. My officemates who gave money/phones waited for 2 hours for nothing. He didn't went back, but he texted them saying he will bring them tomorrow. Friday, he texted me saying that there are only 2 n73 units left, he sold all of them and he needed a deposit on his bank account so he could bring mine to work. I ordered 2, because I told my housemate Kiko about it. So i did pay, thinking that the people who waited yesterday might have gotten theirs (I left early, I didnt wait up for them to get their phones the day before) and guess what happens next? he didn't come. We waited until 9 today, and again, he didn't come. Until 5 pm he was still texting, saying he is still delivering the items to his buyers. When we went on break at 6 we tried calling him but his phone was turned off. We thought maybe his phone died since he was texting all of us earlier that day. Obviously he didn't show up again that's why I'm writing this blog. I'm still giving him 24 hours to text me. I hope he will deliver what he said. Or at least show up. I am afraid for him. My co-trainees know people who know people. Well, i'm not angry at him, I'm angry at myself more. I've been had.

****

update 05/23/10

since most viewers of my blog only view this page, i really think until now he is out victimizing other call centers. last i heard, it was Sutherland in Camsur. and that now he is in Cebu.

my gahd! the HR in my previous work(where this scheming sob scammed us) said they will put out a warning for HRs in other call centers not to hire him. I guess they didn't. anyone who passed through this page are already victims. Unfortunately, no one can provide proof.

If you're reading this Ed/Jay/Ador/Angelo, gujab! darating din ang panahong magkakamali ka. :)

sumkinda

2007-10-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

ever been to monster.com? they do have great customer support, even if technically, job seekers are not customers. try calling their line and ask for a tuna sandwich. i'm damn sure they will entertain your call and even help you get your order.

thats what i've learned today. sorry if i have been awfully quiet but i was spending my week being trained by monsters. lol.

one of my co-trainees was a celebrity. my seatmate said, that guy looks awfully familiar. I said, who, the guy with the long chin? my seatmate said she saw him on TV, like he was a sort of witness before. I jokingly said, who, from kuratong baleleng controversy? turned out that I was right. he was, and again, a witness about a graft case. a song was even composed with him in the lyrics. now he's a call center agent.

what else what else..oh our TV is broken, and i don't have money to have it fixed yet. maybe i'll just buy this new myphone so i can watch from it? it just costs 7 thousand bucks from the same guy i mentioned above. anyone interested?

[blank]

2007-10-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

so much and so little has happened this month.

i took a sabbatical from everything. oh well almost everything. i didn't blog and go to work for 10 days now. why? because (drum rolls please) i'm once again ~~too lazy to work~~ burned out.

i'm doing better. i've found new tv shows to watch. one of them is bones - its about a seemingly unfeeling and rational anthropologist who can do what CSIs can - by just using bones as the main source of evidence. another amusing new show i have is psych. Its about a detail minded guy who seems to have 100x magnified eyes. Lol. kidding. The lead character is a charmer, a joker and likes to add theatrics when solving a crime because he pretends he's a psychic.

oh and did i told you? i have the season 6 of scrubs. saving it for last. :)

dancing for a cause

2007-09-28T06:01:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, our company had a small party..Okay..it wasn't that small. Just every employee in the company. There was games and contests and food..and booze..Hehe. One of the highlights was a dance contest for every shift. There was a cash prize of 3,500 pesos for the winning team, and so the PM shift I belonged to decided to join and choreograph a dance so they'll win. Almost all the boys joined in, and it was decided that they will dance a la ~~drag queens~~ showgirls.

They have all agreed that all the proceeds will be given to Wowie, a coworker who had been sick for a month now - and is undergoing dialysis. They wanted to contribute something for his medical expenses. They even hired a choreographer for the event. Now watch the video and tell me, are they guys or gays?

The judges were overwhelmed by the performance that they decided to award them 10 thousand pesos. They were so happy some even cried when they were told about the prize. Who knows, something that started as a joke turned out successfully?

waiting for fall

2007-09-22T04:34:00.000-07:00

"'No man is a complete mystery except to himself.'Marcel Proust."

I couldn't shake that quote off my mind. Just watched CSI last night again. I'm running out of new TV shows to watch, so I just watched the first 3 seasons of CSI. That was something Grissom said to Lady Heather. I really think she is the best character CSI came up with. She's the perfect match for Grissom.

I can't wait to see what will happen to Sara Sidle. Was she killed by the miniature killer, or is she just waiting helplessly while the CSI team looks for her. There were too many rumors that Jorja Fox didn't renew contract blah blah blah, but it may be publicity..right?

Oh well. I hope sara dies. or at least Grissom will realize that he doesn't love her. I know a lot wont agree with me. But i really think Grissom and Lady Heather are perfect for each other.

how about some popcorns?

2007-09-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

Kiko, my housemate bought another DVD last wednesday. This time it was a Jackie Chan movie collection. I was controlling my urge to watch Scrubs again, so I tried watching a few.

I started off with Shanghai Noon, with Jackie as a chinese imperial guard and Owen Wilson as the sweet talking outlaw. I think I've watched this when it came out in 2000. Mind you, I have very little patience with watching a movie but with this I was able to finish it with minimum fast forwards. (Yeah I skip the fight scenes.) I'm just curious, is it somehow a parody of Wyatt Earp's life?

Then I watched Around the World in 80 Days after that. The movie skipped on its own, so I didn't really know how the story developed. But I like the way Steve Coogan acted as Phileas Fogg. I think he looks handsome..or maybe he just reminded him of someone I know.

Speaking of Around the World in 80 days, I think this was the second book I got interested in. I know the first one was Secret Garden. I think it was because my cousin was reading it for a book review and the cover looked so cute to pass up. Anyway back to Mr. Verne's book, it was the first time I encountered the word timetable. I remember imagining Phileas taking out his a folding table everywhere he went. Hahaha.

Anyway after I finished those two movies, guess what I watched? Right. Scrubs.

My sixth TT

2007-09-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things I dislike

Hot air balloons.
Sirens.
Wrong grammar / misspelled words.
Presumptuous/Pushy people.
Lying.
Sleeping without drinking coffee.
Forwarded messages
Listening to songs i like over the radio.
Chitchats, small talk and other social niceties.
Mandy Moore and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Strong women..especially chinese strong women. (dont ask me why)
Leftover foods.
Politics.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

must.stop.dreaming.about.zach.braff.

2007-09-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

how can i? everytime i'm home i put the [scrubs] dvd on and watch it again and again. when i'm in the office i read and dig everything about him. hayyyy..

dino

2007-09-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me pics she took way back in June. Better late than never. :) We went to xaymaca to watch Brownman Revival live. I wasn't sober anymore, had my 3 beers, so I approached Dino and asked him to have his picture taken with him, and I also asked him if they will be in Canada in August (never knew what happened.)

ramblings

2007-09-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes if all you have is old words, all you can do is put together and hope they say something new" - J.D.

How i wish im sarcastic. scrubs is full of it. oh my god I'm always talking about scrubs. whats wrong with me? i can't even write a post without mentioning them.

I'm going crazy. u wanna know why? Let me give you a run down of my recent activities online.

read scrubs script.
ogled at zach braff's pictures. (ohhh he's so cute!)
pretended i'm a blonde girl with a big rack when in fact my belly's bigger than my boobs.
looked for friends' pictures on friendster.
mmm..added more books to my shelfari..good thing I wrote down 50 something books with titles and ISBNs on a notebook when I was bored the other day.

Is there anything else I can do other than this? I'm so bored. But at least there's zach.
I'm an addict. and i think i need my fix now. got to go, need to read scrubs quote some more.

ennui

2007-09-15T01:47:00.000-07:00

I swear this is my favorite word. And my favorite mood. Too bad emoticons don't have an icon for it.
I declared yesterday a wallowing day. It was the perfect day for it. It was raining but not too much to cause flood inside our house. I didn't go to work. I just solved crossword puzzles, watch scrubs and eat. I felt so good I almost didn't come to work today.
What's happening to me? I think I'm going crazy. Again.
Good thing I already bought season 1-5 of Scrubs. Go-lee! I've watched it several times repeatedly and I still can't get enough of it. I got my housemate Kiko to watch it too. He borrowed the same DVDs before but he didn't watch it - just kept it somewhere and that was the first time I watched it. In fact its the reason my blog title is toilet epiphany. I saw Hiro again. Now I remember where I've seen him before. He was franklin in the show.
Damn I'm digressing again. Basta. I don't want to write anymore. Just read my lalab's blog. He's the only person keeping me sane right now.

Janitor: You kiddin'? Oh, man! Just picture yourself, you're standing out here, in the open air, then you sit down and you take stock of your life. I've had some major epiphanies on this old girl. See, you can't do any soul-searching down there on those germ-infested crappers.
J.D.'s Narration: Damn him. He's right.

J.D.'s Narration: I think it's human nature to search for answers.
Turk: Dude. Why is your tux gonna cost four thousand dollars?
J.D.: No reason.

5th TT

2007-09-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

Thirteen TV Cartoon Series I love
(There's a lot more, but I didn't include animes and mangas on the list)

The Jetsons - this is the best TV show for me. I love their retro-futuristic look. I love the gadgets and thingamajigs they use.
Tom and Jerry - when I was a kid we have lots of betamax tapes of Tom and Jerry. I think I learned English early because of them.
The Flintstones - another favorite. I like their tools, the cars, the ingenious way modern things are made to look stone age.
Scooby Doo, Where are you! - The sleuthing talents of his friends and Scooby's knack for getting in trouble is some
Bugs Bunny - this rabbit is so cool and shrewd at the same time. I looove the attitude.
The Addams Family - scary but funny. My favorite character is Thing.
Spongebob Squarepants - Love him or hate him. He seems very naive and i find it really endearing. Patrick is also really lovable with his Duh? attitude.
Dora the Explorer - yes, I love watching dora. The first time I saw it on TV i was hooked. Lol im so simple minded I find this show entertaining.
The Simpsons. Clearly one of the best cartoons of all time. Does anyone disagree? hehe.
Happy Tree Friends. Its a 15-minute show on MTV before..I googled it and good thing I found their website. Its not for kids..and its gory. But I still like it.
South Park. Where's kenny? I didn't get to watch too many episodes but I love it.
Daria. This cynical and straightforward teenager was way beyond my league. I remember watching it when I still don't understand much, and she did give me a different perspective. Huh. why am i serious here?
Powerpuff girls. I don't like them that much but I can't think of any other cartoons right now.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

my 'Fun Way to Pick a Career Test' result

2007-09-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

I had so much fun playing this test at OKCupid. Yeah its a dating site, but it used to be theSpark.com. Maybe you should take this test too, it was really fun. This was the only game that has interactive flash? embedded on it. It's supposed to be an alternative way to know where you're good at. Here's my score:

Your Score: Pirate

You scored 30% in logic, 20% in hand-eye coordination, 55% in reflexes and 100% in memory!

Ahoy matey! Me sources tell me yer gonna be a pirate!

You performed best in the category of memory. Why your mind must be like a steel trap. A pirate must always remember where they buried their treasure.

Of course a good pirate must also have excellent reflexes. You scored above average in that category as well. You'll have no problem defending yourself against other nasty pirates.

You might be logical, but it's not your greatest strength. That's ok. There's nothing logical about the life you'll lead by stealing great treasures just to bury them for eternity. If anybody tries to tell you otherwise, you can make them walk the plank!

Use the following chart to check out all 24 possible new careers for you.

Link: The Fun Way to Pick a Career Test written by harpoleers2 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

bye bye imagestation!

2007-09-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

I got loads of pics to upload again, so I opened imagestation to put them in but apparently, they are going out of business. This is what happened when I logged in.

Imagestation is a Sony affiliated website. It was one of the few websites we had access to when I was working for. My officemates and I used to spend hours on the website just looking at pictures of people places food and things. Other than this site, there wasn't anything else to do. Oh yeah, we did have access to Sony Pictures' Games site. But it's not something we can be caught doing while taking in calls.
Since my job required some knowledge about cameras, we had access to some Sony cameras. Lol of course we had to, we were sony digital imaging support. Sometimes during free time we would snap pictures and upload them to imagestation. Or if we have outings or trips we just put it on the site so that all our officemates could see and comment on it. Some actually use it to chat with people outside the office using the comment page.
Hayy..i hate it that this site has to close. I wish when I migrated my pics to shutterfly it included my favorite albums list. But I can't even open my account anymore, saying that my account had been closed. Now I have to use shutterfly. I wish there was an alternative site I could've downloaded my pictures. Oh well.

why visit singapore?

2007-09-09T03:43:00.000-07:00

I wanna see Singapore. Why this country? Lemme list down a few things:

its just 4 hours away.
it costs only 147.44USD for tickets back and forth from tiger airways.
i don't need visa to go there.
its so near Malaysia and Indonesia I can visit them in a day!
my friend Denley promised me he will take care of my food and lodging if I will visit him.
there's so many job openings there I could probably take 1 day to submit my resumes to companies.
I'd like to try their food - which is a blend of many Asian cuisines.
I wanna go and see Sentosa!
I want my picture taken with a merlion. Then I'll put it on my friendster. Lol.
I just want to see another culture. for a change.
I've never been anywhere outside the Philippines. This is the perfect opportunity.

I really should start saving money. And oh, I NEED to get a passport.

game over

2007-09-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

I miss playing DoTA. I miss the guys I used to play with. Unfortunately this is the only surviving picture of us playing the game. Yeah I look retarded. I remember the first time I've heard of this game. I was working in c-cubed then, and we were in the office taking in calls. While all the 2000 plus people were busy taking in calls and doing their work, a small window came up in the center of all the computer screens at the same time...It said: 'Dota tayo?' and the only other thing that was on it was a personal computer number. Of course I had no idea what it meant. There was a clamor and everyone asked who sent that message. Turned out the guys from my department were trying to send messages through network. I don't know how its called but we call it don't speak. Anyhoo, that piqued my curiosity. One day as we were all going home, one of my officemates told me that I should join them playing DoTA. I told him I don't know how to play it, and I think I was afraid I might get addicted to it. One of them told me the classic line I can't forget... "Parang Diablo lang yan.."(it's just like diablo.) They all know I spend my breaks at work playing Diablo II in the recreation room, and they knew I'm hooked to that game.
To make the story short, I got addicted to DoTA too. I played with my guy friends 4-8 hours almost daily. You asked me why I don't have any savings? The computer shop we used to play on charges 50 pesos per game.
This addiction went on for so many months. We found a new computer shop that charges half that amount. We even organized 'tournaments.' There were many of us playing that we had to divide into two games. I miss the way we play the game. Its competitive but we're just having fun at the same time. We trash talk,shout and drive our enemy team but there was never any fights no hard feelings. It was really fun. Then while playing we would eat 'power lunch' - which was 2 franks, 2 fried eggs and 2 cups of rice. And drink lots of c2. Then we would order in nearby KFC.
Work usually starts at 8pm. I usually chose the 4 am sched so I can join them afterwards. Some of our managers knew about our habits and are wary of our lates and absences. Some of their girlfriends usually calls me when one of them went missing. Even if its a rest day, we would still go to Katipunan Ave. to play. During typhoon Milenyo, they actually went there thinking they could ride out the storm - they ended up stuck along the Katipunan Ave for hours while it was raining and there wasn't any taxi around. Good thing I wasn't there that time.
After months of playing we just lost the drive to play. One was forced to resign. Soon 4 of them followed. Then another went to the US. We realized we must be better off buying things with our salary than spending most of it for the game. I guess it never was the same when we were all there. Hay, i miss playing with them.
I miss omar, kit, van, raz, gie, ryce, cons, fritz, jam, ivan, jopo, gino, labehead, patrick, ruthie, barry, erwin, and all the dota heroes.
Thinking about it, I don't miss the game, i miss the players.

FOURTH TT

2007-09-06T02:43:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things about DEEGEE

THIRTEEN FOUR-MEMBER BAND/GROUP THAT I LIKE

Beatles.
Goo goo dolls. They used to be four too.
Coldplay.
Foo fighters.
Eraserheads
The Corrs
The Cranberries
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Limp Bizkit
Staind
No doubt
Black Eyed Peas
Live

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looking back...a meme

2007-09-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

**I can't find anything to write about today. I got this in friendster, again.

If you were born before 1993, then this survey should be easy for you to fill out!
If your not... dont even bother,you'll just be confused!

What year were you born in?
-- 1982

What backstreet boys were you when you were young?
-- huh? what kind of question is this?

Backstreet boys or NSYNC?
-- i'm more of a Moffatt fan, thank you.

Did you watch S Club 7?
-- i didn't know they were a show.

What was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals?
-- liltte rascals.

Did you ever have light up sneakers?
-- i didn't..when they came out I was more into maryjanes and loafers

What was your favorite thing about recess?
-- eating, and socializing

Cinderella or Snow White?
-- no thanks

Did you wake up really early just to watch cartoons on Saturday morning?
--not really.

What was your favorite holiday?
-- summer vacation, so I could really watch stuff on TV all day and go to QC to spend the summer with my cousins.

Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see Santa?
-- of course I did.

What grade did you like the best?
-- Grade 5 I think. It was when I had my first puppy sorta love. hihi.

Ninja Turtle or Power Rangers?
-- i was not a fan of both. I'd rather watch Richie Rich or The Jetsons.

What Power Ranger were you?
-- please see above answer

Did you ever own a chinese jump rope?
-- we used braided rubber bands as chinese garter

What was your favorite thing to eat?
-- whammo's

What was your favorite color?
-- back then? i think it was red.

Barney or Sesame street?
-- again, i didn't grew up with them.

Do you ever miss being a little kid?
-- yeah i do

Do you wish you were older?
-- when I was young? yes. now? i wish i was younger.

What was your first pets name?
-- I wasn't really into pets too.

Who was your best friend in kindergarten?
-- girl named Andrea, who's now in Canada and we still keep in touch.

Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with in the 3rd grade?
-- i think we quarreled how the name jane was spelled. so no.

Where did you live when you were 9?
-- bicol.

What was your all time favorite movie?
-- willy wonka and the chocolate factory.

Which did you like 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark' or 'AHH! Real Monsters?
-- are you afraid of the dark

Did you watch Rockos Modern Life?
-- whats that?

Who was your favorite character in Doug?
-- i have to google this first. still no idea.

Did you ever want to watch slime time live?
-- do i have to reiterate?

Have you ever wondered what the "slime" was actually made of?
-- duh?

Who was your favorite Rugrat?
-- again, not a fan

Did you own pogs?
-- I did, and I found them useless.

what about a tamagochi?
-- i did hav one, but it died on me :(
-- None.haha.bawal.

im 3eb*

2007-09-01T04:57:00.000-07:00

Lately im not really in the mood to write anything more than a few sentences. I even think I'm having delusions. I've been watching The Ghost Whisperer for several days now and it eerily resembles what my psychic boyfriend has been telling me about Ghosts and what lays beyond.
I get into crying fits while watching the dead person say goodbye to their living family. The story somehow seems stupid at times, the main character is someone I'm not really into.

Yeah I don't like Jennifer Love Hewitt that much. Maybe it's because she dated John Mayer. Oh not that. But I didn't like her acting in If Only. True, true, the story was good, but why does it have to have a production number at the end?

To be perfectly honest, I don't like her because she has big boobs even if she's thin. Wahaha. I saw a comment at imdb that called the TV series Breast Whisperer. Wahaha again. I wish you have imdb accounts so u can see their comments. Anyways she pulls off a decent job in the TV show even if she says cliché the lines like, 'you need to cross over' 'you have to walk to the light now' and the ghosts reply 'wow i see (insert name of dead relative here.)'

My housemate said the other day that in the show's opening credits where it shows to headless coated figure with wings actually has heads, but only people with third eye can see it (see pic above.) I tried looking for this info anywhere but it seems Kiko's had me again. Did you see anything in the picture?

My boyfriend says if you spend too much time with a person who has third eye, some of it will rub off with you. So that's why my 3rd eye is still blind. Oh and did I mention I wear glasses for my other two?

my third thursday thirteen

2007-08-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Foreign TV Shows I really LOVE

Scrubs. It is a sitcom, but somehow they manage to inflict lessons about friendship, morality and anything about life. I'm not a film student nor i pretend to be, but the way the cameras are used is really unique and amazing. It's what got me hooked to watching sitcoms and tv series.
Crime Scene Investigation. Do I need to explain? The original is still the best. I got addicted to the show I think this is the reason I stopped working before. haha.\
CSI: NY. It follows, right? I loved CSI, so I love CSI NY too. Oh and did I mention I really like Eddie Cahill. Yeah, I guess I keep repeating that.
Heroes. When I first saw it at the DVD store I thought it was corny since I'm not really a fan of fantasy flicks like xmen and such. One boring night though, I watched the 3rd episode on RPN-9 with my housemate, Kiko. After watching it he decided to buy the DVD right then and there.
Numb3rs. Cute little Professor Eppes and Fleindhart always saves the day. They make math and physics sound so easy. I just hope Fleindhart will come back to the show soon after going to the moon (or to 24.)
House MD. I've encountered so many sarcastic people in TV shows but he really holds the crown for being adorably annoying. I'm sad that his 3 protégés left the show. I'm hoping to see more diversity in characters again. I got this website that shows his quips and quotes. really fun.
Full House. Yes, its only a season, but I really loved the house - which is the main setting and the characters. I could go on and on about the house used, but I suggest you follow the link.
Criminal Minds. Another buy by my housemate Kiko. Its a whodunnit TV series too, this time focusing on criminal profiler to solve crimes.
Kyle XY. I think I already wrote enough about him here.
Princess Hours. Probably the 'cutest' korean TV series there is. It was a hit show here in the Philippines, and I guess on youtube too.
Detective Conan. This cute nosy little detective is my favorite Japanese tv character. The copy I bought contained really good subtitles complete with 'notes' about how these words are used.
Extreme Make Over Home Edition. I'm a frustrated architect cum interior designer - do you see why I love watching homes being wrecked and rebuilt?
I'm tempted to say Grey's Anatomy, but you see, I haven't seen it yet. My sister says its really good, and she told me its storyline. But since this is about what I have seen, then I'll just say Prison Break. Michael Scofield is really gorgeous, isn't he? I just wished the story isn't full of suspense, because I can't work up the courage to finish the entire series yet.

again, im incoherent.

2007-08-27T03:46:00.000-07:00

I finally found someone who expressed intelligibility what i've been trying to say during the drinking session I had with my office buddies weeks before. One of my office buddies, teased me endlessly why I think self-fulfilment is so important before I get married. I told him that once I can say I'm happy with what I am, then I can really find myself committing to someone I love.
Anyway, she is a character in the book by Paulo Coelho, The Zahir. Im almost tempted to quote an entire chapter here just to get my point across. I'm sure its illegal, so let me try to tell you about it instead.
The character - her name is Esther - is married to a celebrity writer. She is asking her husband to let her be a war correspondent. The reason, she says, is her unhappiness despite having everything a woman could want. She gave several examples, like how a 'happy couple' seem happy when they worry about too many things, how accomplished people really wished to be someone else but was forced to be the way they are, without them knowing if its what they want or what others told them they wanted.
So...she goes on and searched for an epiphany why the world is unhappy. Why everyone seems unfulfilled. Or rather, if the world has always been like it is now.
I guess what i'm incoherently trying to say here is that you need to read the novel. I really don't know how to get express my thoughts into words. That's why I leave it to the experts.

urban legends

2007-08-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

I'm not a cheerful mood today. I slept so little this morning. I woke up at the sound (or rather vibration) of my cellphone, and it was my boyfriend Harvey calling. He said he's displeased with me. Course I bolted up from and asked him why. He said his mother saw my facebook pictures and was unhappy when she saw my pictures drinking and smoking ciggies. Hmm.. he says it matters to him what his mom thinks so I should remove those pics pronto and stop smoking asap. I wish both have the same level of difficulty of doing. Hayy.
Anyway last night I went to Teepee's party and ate lots of bbq salad and carbonara. Yeah i drank a bottle of san mig light and nothing else. We talked about nothing but starlets and has-beens and Julie Vega and urban legends around her. That's because there was nothing on TV but Walang Tulugan. In all fairness we finished the entire show which lasted for hours. After bashing the show and all there was an unanswered question. I know I've read in a magazine when I was young that Julie Vega's death has somehow paranormal causes. I think the story says she has a suitor of a supernatural specie and wooed her until she joined him. Whatever.
Right now I can't think straight and I'm writing without direction. I found this interesting link that our national hero Rizal is suspected of being the illusive Jack the Ripper. I'm having fun reading the comments between 2 pinoys with different perspectives. Then I stumbled on an article saying that Jack the Ripper was a mason. Hmm. Too much conspiracy theory here. Anyways since i'm not making any sense maybe I should stop writing.

new header

2007-08-25T04:08:00.000-07:00

I don't feel really well lately. If you've noticed, I didn't even write anything other than the meme. I couldn't think of a topic to write about so what I did was edit a picture my friend len took. Can you see me on the header? I'm on the far right, standing. The streak of light was supposed to be red. I blued everything. See, i really don't know how to edit pics using picnik.

Anyways, right after I posted that new header I opened my email and saw an email from Peachy. She sent me several blog headers. Now I'm confused which header to use. Tell me which look better, the old one or this?

or this?

lastly, this?

My Friday Feast

2007-08-24T03:46:00.000-07:00

Appetizer
Say there’s a book written about your life. Who would you want to narrate the audio version?

-- zach braff, because he narrates really good in scrubs as dr. john dorian. I love the show and the way Doc JD narrates it.

Soup
Take the letters from your favorite kind of nut and write a sentence. (Example: Perhaps every avenue needs understanding today.)

-- Can anyone see how everything's worthless? (hahaha this is fun)

Salad
If you could go back in time and spend one week in another decade, which decade would you choose?

-- The 70s. I think it's so cool to be among the beatle fans, the marxists and the hippies.

Main Course
Name a song that brings back memories for you.

-- kanlungan. Its a Filipino song about going back to a place which used to be a 'sanctuary' ( i think thats the best translation for the word) It brings back memories of my college days.

Dessert
Do you prefer to wash your hands in cold water or warm water?

-- warm water. I can't stand the cold.

My type of guy

2007-08-23T02:39:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things about ME

13 celebrities I really find attractively cute

Writing about kyle today inspired me to do this list. I will not include my boyfriend on the list. He isn't a celebrity, for one, and its given :) Instead, this are celebrities from the Philippines and elsewhere that has/had caught my eye. Can you see the similarities among them??

RicoYan. I know, i know, he's dead. But the fact is, I have this huge crush on him ever since I can remember. I cried buckets when he died. :((
Mickey Perz. The first time I saw him on Pinoy Big Brother speaking German, I got hooked! :)
Eddie Cahill. I can get lost in your eyes. and dimples. I really really adore him. He's the best character in CSI:NY..hehe
Alfred Vargas. He's a real hunk. Looks like a typical tambay, and umm..he kinda reminds me of someone I used to know.
Jerry Yan. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I like Dao Ming Si's looks. He sure do belong here in my list with his cute eyes, dimples and yummy body.
Eminem. Yep, yep yep. This guy is one of the hottest person alive for me. I love his angas looks and those piercing eyes.
Brandon Boyd. Boy, he can sing. and he does have the looks and the body too. I envy my officemate Mic for having seen them in person. And she has the pics to prove it.
Lee Ki-Woo. He's this tall chinky eyed Korean I saw from an excellent Korean movie The Classic. He plays the kind, understanding boyfriend and he really looks cute and awkward at the same time.
Woo-Sung Jung. Yeah, he's Korean. I saw him the other day from a Korean mystery movie The Restless and oh..he's so good looking even if his costume is for a rugged-looking nomad.
Hyun Bin. Another korean I saw from a movie I watched..I think the title was A Millionaire's First Love. This guy looks so ugly when frowning but really cute when he's smiling.
Umm..add Matt Dallas to the list. He's adorably cute too.
The Rock. If you can smell what the rock is cooking?! I loved his act back when he was in the WWF.
Hugh Jackman. How can i forget wolverine? He's so ruggedly handsome, he almost didn't made my list since this is just for the cutest guys I know.

meet kyle

2007-08-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

I was über bored yesterday. I didn't go out, didn't watch any DVDs and didn't have anything to do. I tried reading Teach Yourself German but I fell asleep. I forgot to watch Kyle XY which I've been trying to faithfully follow on TV.
Speaking of which, I really like that show, its so fresh and different from the crime dramas I have been watching as of late. The tv show's star, Matt Dallas, is 24 but he looks so innocently cute that he really pulls off acting like a newborn 16 year old clone.
I heard the show's a hit in the US. I've seen lots of very good comments about it from imdb. Personally I watched the pilot run on RPN 9 because I was looking for another kind of TV show. I found it here. Maybe I like the kind of shows where the protagonist narrates the story in first person. Im not the kinda writer who can do good reviews, I'll leave it to the pros. I just think you should see the show, when Kyle smiles he looks so sweet and innocent.

acting up.

2007-08-21T01:29:00.002-07:00

I was blog hopping the other day and I got interested in one particular blog. Anyone who can write a nine-word cinquain with a different kinda portrait can join. To my surprise my entry got accepted! :) Thanks wencel for the picture..Hihi.

I should be adding links again right now, but something's wrong with my blogger. I seem to be getting the same error message every time I try to add a pic, a link or whatever.

So, if you're curious, just follow this link.

promises are made to be broken, etc.

2007-08-19T00:36:00.000-07:00

I'm just making an excuse for not writing. I just don't like to talk about yesterday.

It has been 2 years since Harvey left for Canada. I thought I can forget it by not thinking about it. I drank with friends after shift so that when I come home I could just lay down and sleep.

But no. After 3 bottles (thats my limit) and an hour of tossing and turning in my bed, I still remember. Good thing an anonymous donor sent me 30 pesos worth of load. I called him up after I realized its saturday and he should be home.

So we talked - no I mean he talked I cried. I reminded him that my limit of waiting was 2 years, and its now up. I know I should not pressure him like this, its not fair. There really are times when I want to give up and tell him to go find another girl there. Once I even thought of taking my life so I can get to see him, since he's psychic. (Don't worry, it was a momentary thought) And there are times when I'm tempted to look for another guy that can help pass the time. These are stupid thoughts. Its not fair because I know he's situation is much harder than mine. At least I have friends I can count on. He doesn't, he's alone.

I didn't tell him those. I just told him I'll still wait, no matter what. I still love him really deeply, even if I'm having doubts I know there isn't any other guy that I will feel this way. He's mine, I'm his, and thats for keeps.

another lazy day

2007-08-18T05:03:00.000-07:00

I didn't write anything today because I was enjoying this website I saw from the korean artist rain's profile. This website has so many funky clothes I'm having fun dressing up my avatar. Here's the first one I made:
Isnt it the cutest? I made another one, but somehow I can't upload it to my computer. Anyways, they have the funkiest shoes and all.. Go make your own!

this sucks.

2007-08-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

I think i'm suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Umm. Whatever. I just feel tired, bored and depressed today because it was raining when I woke up. Maybe its because rains and late mornings remind me of the days when harvey could stay over and we could cuddle in bed all day long. Hayyy.
Rainy days and mondays always let me down. And you could add the fact that I'm uber bored because of this computer shop's internet connection and I'm sitting next to two little girls who are pimping themselves on the net. I'm trying to answer messages for work so at least I'm doing something with my time today. Yeah, I didn't go to work. I was enjoying the rain and some sleep when my alarm sounded. What was the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up? sleep again. Wahaha.
I slept so late last night because I was watching this new show Shark. I have heard of it from a text chatter and she said its like "csi meets dr. house" I told my housemate kiko about it and walah! he bought the disc yesterday. That's why i can't leave him. He's the best housemate. :)Anyways about Shark, its about this lawyer who used to be a defense attorney and because of a certain case, stopped defending criminals and joined the prosecution side. He was given a job to prosecute high profile cases. It doesn't sound CSI to me, more like this show we used to watch, what was it..the partner? I completely forgot. Anyways this show is more on the investigative side of prosecution and all. They go to crime scenes too, interview witness and dig up dirt to build a case. Speaking of which, maybe I'll just go home, cook some instant noodles and watch again.a

thirteen things

2007-08-16T02:49:00.000-07:00

Um, being the mimic that I am, i wanted to do my own thursday 13. I was thinking of a good list to put in, but as usual, an idea came to me while I'm in the latrine. Ahihi. Since this is my first, and since its called a meme, i want to write 13 things about me. And since I got comments on my white lace and promises post from mariuca and johnny ong, I said I there are things I wanted to do before getting married, so here goes...

13 things I want to do before I get married:

Get laid. wahahaha.
Go to a bar/club and really partaaay.
Learn Chinese, seriously. ( I don't want to look illiterate to my future in-laws)
Get a total make over. I don't want to look losyang.
Save enough for a plane ticket to Canada (and back, in case I didn't like it)
Get a certificate for a computer course somewhere (I learned, in a hard way, that a piece of paper proving that you know computer is important, you can't just say you know.)
Have my passport stamped in Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia.
Sell all my books, and shop for winter clothes.
Have a grand vacation, preferably, in Boracay. I want to think things over.
Earn at least a hundred dollars from adsense and mylot.
Go home and spend Christmas with family, which I haven't done in years.
Learn how to cook. My, I really have to brush up my cooking er..skills?
Realize what career I would like to have. Yeah, i know, i had 25 years to think about it, but still, I haven't decided what I want to be.

quote for the day

2007-08-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

I watched another korean flick last night after getting tired of watching Criminal Minds. I think the title was Highway Star 1. Maybe their inspiration was the deep purple song. Whatever.The hero was the same guy who played the guy in my sassy girl. His name is Cha Tae-Hyun. Or Tae hyun Cha.
The story was about this rocker guy who wanted to be famous. He ditched his friends and went to Seoul upon the invitation of 2 down in luck talent agents. There he met a girl who sings awfully it rains every time she sings. She seems not to feel embarrassed or whatever.
Anyhoo the reason I'm writing this is her. She said something that made me think. She asked Tae Hyun,
"Do you know why it rains when rain dancers dance?"
"...its because they dance 'til it rains."

poetry in trance

2007-08-14T02:46:00.000-07:00

I generally hate trance. or club. or house. I don't consider them music. I find it so irritating but there's one song I don't mind hearing. Its the song 'ever after' by bonnie tyler. I love it. If you hear it you might not be able to get the lyrics, so here it is:

Three years ago, our journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start

The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeahhhhh
Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side,
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating, when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love, and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine

Unfortunately I am so dumb I don't know how to put a music clip here. Maybe next time.

It reminds me a lot of my current relationship with my boyfriend..He's my twisted sunshine. :)

White lace and promises

2007-08-12T04:59:00.000-07:00

Last night my officemates once again had another "chill out session," meaning we drank 2 or 3 bottles of beer again. I don't know who started the topic, but we talked about marriage and instead of the usual bashing session, and I ended up crying.

My officemate asked me why I didn't agreed on marrying my boyfriend before he left for Canada. I told him it wasn't enough reason for us to marry. Sure, we love each other so much, I am very afraid that I might loose him, but I don't want to tie him down just to make sure that I wouldn't loose him. I love him to death, and I don't think there will be any guy that I will love more than I love Harvey.

There are things that I want to do before I get married. I want to find myself, my purpose and my reason for existence. I want to achieve my dream, or and there seems to be something I need to prove to myself as an individual, and not as Mrs. Hibo. I know all those sound selfish when quoted out of context, but you see, I don't want to complicate my life further. How am I supposed to tell myself that I will give my heart and soul to one man, when I haven't found myself yet.

One more thing, I know that if I would not get to achieve whatever purpose or dream I have before I marry, I might pass my frustrations on to my future children. I know parents tend to do that (mine did, at least) and I don't want to, if I can help it. I know, i have too much pride, and ambition, but hey, I can't help it. I don't want to marry just because. I want to marry because I am ready.

Men marry because they are tired;
women, because they are curious:
both are disappointed.

Oscar Wilde

desimpsonize me please

2007-08-11T04:26:00.000-07:00

Me as a simpson character? wahaha..Look how i simpsonized myself. Does it look like me? i dunno. I had to look for a super closeup with at least 640 by 480 pixels. anyways I found one but it didn't even come close. Oh well. Just make ur own, its fun. :) Heres how.

i miss the spark

2007-08-11T02:45:00.000-07:00

One of the websites I used to frequent when I first learned the workings of the net was The Spark.com. I think it was so popular back then, and it was a really cool site. They have tests that measure your life, your iq, your gender, purity etc. They closed years ago because some bigger company got interested in their sub-site, the sparknotes.
Anyways, what i miss about that site is the way they ask the questions in their tests, the witty way they tell you the results, the way they bash canadians in their questions (its just funny, sorry.) They also have this funny experiments and pictures. I was looking for any site that may look the same but i can't find any. Its entertaining and enlightening at the same time. Even the archived spark page is down. :(

The founders of spark made okcupid, but the tests are just part of the package, they have dating chorvas that i'm not interested in. Also, the users make the tests. Its also fun, but it's no spark.

its a girl thing

2007-08-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

Why do my period have to hurt so much? I can't sit still, i can't stand, and I think I want to throw up. I'm very irritable and antsy too. I'm supposed to be used to this, but I still am not.

I started mine when I was in second year high school.I remember clearly how it came. I was fifteen, and it was our christmas party at school the following day, and I was trying out my new clothes. Hehe. Anyways, when I removed my skirt I saw blood coming out between my legs. I panicked. I called out to my mom and cried. Of course she did help me get the blood off and taught me how to put in a napkin.

I know I was so immature at 15 because I used to ask my mom why my girl classmates seem to have hairs on their armpits. I didn't. I was a late bloomer, as they say, because when our teacher asked our class one day who among us were not yet having period. I put my hands up, of course, along with a classmate I know was a year younger than me. Other than us, everyone seem to have had their periods years ago.

Maybe that's why I literally shoot up. From being 5'3" I grew to my current height, 5'8". The only downside is that my boobs didn't. :( Hey, why am I talking about my boobs? this is supposed to be about my period.

I took mefenamic acid and I don't think it helped me a lot. My puson still hurts. My lower back hurts. The only posture I can get comfy right now is when I bend and make ipit my tyan.Wahaha. And I get bored more easily. So. I don't want to write no more.

flooding

2007-08-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

I seem to be flooding friendster's bulletin boards with my surveys. I know its not supposed to be used for them, so here I am, cutting and pasting away another survey.

1. In one sentence, explain yesterday:
* It was so rainy, i decided to stay home and to pig out and chillax.

2. What made u smile today?
* I saw a guy I liked back in high school from my Who Viewed Me list. He's married, and his wife is pangit. (bitter, bitter)

3. What were u doing this morning at 8
* Sleeping and maybe dreaming. I woke up at 1130.

4. What were u doing 15 minutes ago?
* Looking for a blog skin for my other blog, which I haven't any luck yet.

5. Something that happened to u in 1985?
* I don't know, I was 3 and I have no memory yet.

6. Last thing someone else said to you?
* Sige, sige.

7. What was ur answer?
* (I think i didn't answer)

8. Worst thing currently on television:
* boxing bruhahas.kokey.everything on primetime bida. and Wowowee.

9. What was in your e mail today?
* speaking of which..lemme open it..oh, our college org has a new website.

10. How many different beverages have you drank today?
* water, coffee, coke. 3.

11. What is ur favorite part of the day?
* dvd time T_T

12. Your current To-do list?
* laundry, fix my other blog, upload pics, work.

13. Where is ur best friend right now?
* What bestfriend? I don't play favorites among my friends.

14. What color is ur toothbrush?
* green and white.

15. What are u wearing right now?
* blue jacket, purple tee, jeans and new balance

16. Any plans for Friday night?
* Most likely it will be nom-i. partaaayyyyy!

17. Least favorite place to shop.
* posh malls.too pretentious for my taste.

18. things u bought today?
* dinuguan, baked mac and coke.

19. Last gift you received?
* a Headset. from my wish list. :)

20. Who gave you that?
* he who secretly reads my blogs but never comments.

21. What made you sad today?
* i miss len.huhu

22. What can make you happy?
* beer, or a really corny joke.

23. Beauty is:
* me, personified. wahaha

24. Describe your key chain:
* just a simple chain with 2 keys. boring.

25. Where do u keep ur change?
* a coin purse i gave myself for my bday.

30. What are you going to do after this?
* upload pics.

i feel unky.

2007-08-09T03:04:00.000-07:00

My blockmate sealdz was one of the people that got me hooked to the net. She introduced me to a lot of fun and wacky websites ( i only knew how to ICQ and use hotmail before) and one of them was unkymoods. Its a fun smiley site that you can post on a blog, profile page etc.. I guess it was a long time ago, because when I checked my old blog for my unky, i can't find it anymore.
After some futile search, i was able to find punkymoods. They're using the same smileys and moods. Anyways, I, of course, signed up and joined it..If you can scroll over this blog you will see my current mood. Hmm..maybe I should just put it here first..

Im feeling...

I'm just not sure why i'm having trouble with it..Everytime I use mozilla to open the website, its giving me this message:

Cookies are not enabled on your browser. Please adjust this in your security preferences before continuing.

I did, and changed ever setting that says cookies etc etc but I still can't get the website to open. Good thing I have explorer open. So whats wrong with my mozilla?

tsk

2007-08-08T00:57:00.000-07:00

Ah rain. After wishing for it for two months, here you are. I welcomed you with open arms knowing that the dams need you. We need you. Now, after two days of unstopping torrents, I'm not sure I still want to see you. I'm having sleepless nights thinking what would happen if the canal near our house overflows with water? Flood..inside the house again. AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

to the left, to the left

2007-08-07T03:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the red stuff. I just got so pissed off earlier that i needed to express it in color. Yeah, I did successfully change my blog skin, but unfortunately it doesn't look good with the header wencel gave me. Wencel! if you are reading this, can you please pretty please make my header right? I do look very short and stocky on it.

What's with my pictures being taken while i'm not looking? And only my back, for pete's sake. Maybe I'm Talikogenic. Hahaha. Its a corruption of two words - talikod and photogenic - meaning my rear looks good in pictures. You don't think so? lemme show you another one of my pics. So whatcha think? I don't remember this pic taken but apparently my officemate Jam took advantage of someone's camera and snapped a pic at me. I have another pic, but i'm not sure I want to share it just yet. It labels on the pornographic. wahaha. My boyfriend took that pic.

Now where was I? oh yeah, changing the theme of this blog. I don't freaking like this layout but I'll stick with this for now. I'm waiting for kiko (my housemate's) PC to come back home, so I can doodle and play around with my own design. Its hard to be creative with MS paint, but I have seen some people create great artworks with it. I'm not that kind of person.

angry me

2007-08-07T01:17:00.002-07:00

I swear if I still can't get my skin changed without getting errors, I will go back to blogdrive. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
For the nth time i've tried uploading another skin from blogskins.com. When I pasted it into the edit html page in my blogger, all it said was error not all chorva was closed ek la vu blah blah blah. I hate it. I made sure all the tags and whatever they're called are properly closed. It's a fucking waste of time. Maybe i'll just go back to working right now.

**Guess what, when I was about to publish thi post, another error appeared..hmm..i'm thinking...i'm thinking..how can i migrate my posts? this is the last straw..

blah blah

2007-08-04T06:08:00.000-07:00

Since i've been typing away for almost 7 hours straight, I don't think I'm in the mood to put in coherent thoughts today. Oh well let me try.
Yesterday was my officemate's last day. I think she had been in bbtxt for only a month but we hang out almost everyday. Of course we drank the night away to ' celebrate' it. I ate too much again, drink to little. My stomach is getting bigger everyday. Come to think of it, i've been drinking at least 3 times a week. My oh my.
Speaking of drinks, I swear I will never drink red horse again. After two stallions, I actually puked by guts out. That was from another drinking session.
Anyway, I can't even remember the last time I actually did, but I distinctly remember what happened. We were drinking at home in KNL, I think that was London Dry Gin and I think I passed out. Next thing I remembered, was my housemates were waking me up because I was sleeping with puke in my hair and face. Eww..No, i wasn't alone. Rhia was in the bed with me. Until now, we still don't know if it was mine or hers.
So where was I? that was a side story. Oh yeah, len. She likes photography a lot and actually takes really good pics. You may want to check her site. She flattered me a lot when she said I have a good eye for photography. Maybe it was the beer talking huh?
What's my point in writing today, anyhow? I don't know..Earlier I have been posting on forums and you know what? I was writing longer lately...It seems that my fingers are finally talking - or getting more talkative - whatever. I hope its not because I've been trying to reach the 6,061 messages quota by writing inane stuff. Is this inane? I don't know. Maybe it is, and I better stop now...Like some greek guy once said:

'Si tacvisses, philosophus mansisses'
(if you'd shut up, i'd keep believing you were wise)

This.is.not.me.

2007-08-03T05:28:00.000-07:00

I'm writing two posts in one day? haha. I don't know what has gotten into me, but its just that I came across my old old website(imagine 4 years ago!) and I read some things I didn't remember writing about. I've forgotten how to edit it, and yahoo geocities seems complicated now.
Hmm..what can u say about it?

goodbyes

2007-08-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.”

Aside from birthdays, I also hate goodbyes. It makes me feel so sad and useless. I can't do anything to keep people from leaving.

The first time I encountered so much sadness was during our high school graduation. I felt so sad knowing that we are going our separate ways, yes, we will see each other again, but things will never be the same. Damn, am I right. I don't think I feel the same affinity and affection I had with my friends back home. We each went our different ways, found different interests (and friends), and even if we tell ourselves nothing has changed, everything had.

There was also a time I cried a lot when my officemates from c3 where 'laid-off'(is that right) while we were having a farewell party. My officemate kit actually took a picture of it:
Sorry if it looks pixelized. It has been lifted from and to different pcs thats why it looks that way. I was so overwhelmed by sadness of goodbyes that I can't help but cry.

I remembered the day my boyfriend left for Canada.I spent the whole day crying, and only stopped to eat. I was working in c3 then, and I didn't go to work. I called the office, and told them, I won't be able to go to work because I was not feeling well, emotionally. Don't laugh, because that's what I really told them.

I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling of being left, I know its hard to say goodbye and leave, but its such a pain to be the one left waiting. Hay, I miss harvey so much it really, really hurts.

thanks

2007-08-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

wencel thanks for the header..haha i don't know if it was a gift for me or just an advertisement for your blog? hehe..Thank you, thank you.
I'm not in the mood to write today, but I just want to share a new word:

Post-Potter Depression.
The empty feeling that comes from finishing the seventh book in the Harry Potter series and realizing there will be no more.

Thanks to urbandictionary.com for that and to terence for sharing it with me. So I guess I wasn't really alone in what I felt huh?

may the force be with u

2007-07-31T03:12:00.000-07:00

I did have a happy birthday, thank you. Anyways my boyfriend called me that day to wish me happy bday and to tell me that there is another star wars movie in the making. He said he saw it online and the story revolves around darth vader's secret apprentice.
Hmm..so far I don't have any luck finding it. There are rumors, yes. According to news.com it was an australian TV series and about what happened between episode 3 and 4.
I found another link though, it says George Lucas is hinting about a new film.
Enough about the movie. I found another interesting tidbit. It seems that there is an actual religion called Jediism, which follows the belief of the jedis (no, they don't seem to have light sabers.) I promise I'll read about it. and share it to you, haha.
On another news, I have a headset! finally :) Somebody actually bothered to read my blog and buy the gift I like. Thanks to you two. You know who you are.
Thanks to peachy for the t-shirt. and to my officemates for the impromtu partay! Pictures soon..hehe.
I love marlboro, they mailed me a greeting card wishing me more sticks and more birthdays. Isnt it ironic? LOL.

birthday blues.

2007-07-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

<>
Its my birthday tomorrow. Ugh, at least 4 hours from now. I'm turning 25! wtf! Time really flies. I haven't noticed i'm THIS old.
I don't feel like writing what i feel about my birthday. Maybe I'll just post a pic. There. Thanks to Len, who always takes my pics.
Anyways, I swear I will quit smoking. Soon. That's on my list of things to do. And I need to go to c3 soon. Soon. Soon. I will go to singapore, claim my gift from Denz. Hmm..What will I do tomorrow? Allan is coming over. I have to go to auntie malou's place too. Maybe I'll just make him tag along.
I have to count my replies for the month, have I passed the quota? I wish I'll get excess. I really wish. How can I do that? ask zands. later. but anyways why am I writing this way? Just thinking scattered thoughts. Haha, mic is preggy, and monkeyboy is happy. Mic is not.

Do you know what im talking about? thats 1 minute peep inside my head for you.

whats wrong with the world, mama?

2007-07-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

I watched the news last night, and I was really disturbed by what I heard. It seems that the country is experiencing a very unusual weather pattern, and that we are experiencing weather akin to the summer season. July's almost ending, but still, rains are rare. If you have noticed rain this past two days, its actually because of cloud seeding.
I am not paranoid by nature, but the warnings are there: black outs, the heat, low water supply in dams, urban fires...My god, whats wrong with the world?!?
They're saying its the global warming, and it may be the el niño phenomenon. I hope that wouldn't happen. I'm scared..I hope I can contribute somehow, by doing these:
1. i won't use too much electricity when I'm home. (the news was saying save electricity during 10am-2pm)
2. same as water. save water.
3. smoke less. haha, maybe it adds to the pollution.

anticlimax

2007-07-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sad.

Yesterday I spent the whole day reading book 7, and when I was nearing the end, I can't help but cry. Harry potter is finished. No more hogwarts, no more spells, no more wondering who are death eaters, no more what will happen to harry.

Wala lang. It's just seemed that it became a sort of tradition for me to read harry potter every june/july. Now that 'tradition' is broken. What will I expect next year? Oh right, the movie. But reading is an entirely different experience. Its like i'm part of harry's growing up years, and now that he's matured, thats it. bye.

Maybe the fanfiction will come out with their own continuation of harry's life story. I won't mind if it wasn't about harry, as long as it continues the same tone and story line j.k. rowling did.

But I'm still sad. huhuhu.